hehe...ahaks...hahaha... (",)

just finished my department meeting with the EPCC department...perghhh...suddenly so much work...it's normal to have so much work after a meeting with my department...but the problem now is...nak amik cuti next week...!!!...camana nih???...keje tetiba cam banyak lak...kang ader jerk yg bos tak approve my cuti...ish...ish...ish...tp takper...i've talked to andrew just now...he agreed to finish up our group work by end of this month...so next week leh arr cuti...yeah...balik penang...MY PENANG...muah mmuuaahh mmmuuaahhh...!!!...

buhshan arr arinih...had to study about commercial n QA/QC department nyer workflow...need to program it into the EDMS...tensen seh...da arr tak baper paham n i'm quite slow in understanding sumthing to do with bussiness...tendering...proposal...procument n bla...bla...bla...adoih...camana nak sambung MBA nih...!!!...takper...takper...lex arr...musti boley nyer...hehe...ahaks...hahaha...

ehm...smlm dapat email from my best buddy kat opis nih...rase cam besh jerk email tuh...it's not because og the word "laling"...tak heran arr ngan word "laling" tuh...we don't even meant it pong...saje nak memain jerk...nak create scandal arr konon nyer...hahaha...but he's a good a.k.a the best buddy...sebab nyer...sebab nyer...laling nih senang dibuli...hahahaha...kan laling kan???...laling ku sayang...bace dalam nada nih...!!!...

the reason i like email tuh sebab ayat2 yg mcm sajak tuh...tp laling kater it's a pantun ntah berapa puluh rangkap...hahahaha...

laling!
ingat tak dtg keje..haiya..
ingat sudah sakit
ingat sudah sakit mulut...haiya
ingat sudah demam
ingat sudah tak leh bangun...haiya
ingat sudah kat hospital
ingat sudah mau telephone laling...haiya
laling!
takde pape la...
ingat saje mau exercise jari
muahahahahh

sayang ka???

banyak benda main dalam pale otak arinih...tp till now semua pon yang besh2 lagik arr...takder yg sedey2 lagik...last weekend i succeeded dok kat umah tanpa pijak tanah...hehe...maksud nyer mmg tak kuar langsung arr...kuar pon turun kedai bawah umah beli tomyam (faveretku) ngan nasik + teh ais kegemaranku...hehe...kira nyer tak pijak tanah arr kan tuh???...sebab simen jerk semua nyer...lagipon tak sampai 200 langkah from my house nak pege kedai tuh...hehe...

so...wut did i do dua ari dalam umah tuh???...tgk tv arr beb...nak wat aper lagik...hehe...this is the rest that i need to kumpul before i bertungkus lumus berjalan balik after this...hehe...plan for disember n november pon da penuh my weekend...nak balik penang...nak pege kuantan (mmber kawen)...nak pege cherating...ader training VB.net lagik...ish...ish...ish...thinking of those hectic weekend make me feel nak dok umah jerk...tgh mood baik nih...kalo mood tak baik...ehm...hampeh...jgn harap arr nak dok kat umah camnih...hehe...

bile dok sesorang kat umah...finishing da weekend with myself n "tv" kesayanganku...tgk citer2 yg kekdg may relate with my current n previous life...make me think...kekadang kiter raser kiter sayang org tuh...kiter sanggop wat aper sajerk tuk dier...tp nape when the time comes...kiter abaikan dier???...kiter letakkan EGO kiter kat atas...atas daripada rasa sayang tuk dier???...bukankah kiter patut ketepikan EGO kiter tuh bile kite da sayang seseorg???...nape nak pikir lagik benda2 yg tak sepatut nyer???...bnyak insiden that happen to me that i put my BIG EGO in front of me instead of rasa sayang kat org...aper eks???...nak tau ke???...ehm...

insiden 1 : my 5 months relationship with neil was the best that had happened to me rite now...cam mepek jerk kan???...it's just 5 months n hg takleh nak lupa dia ka???...that wut's my fren had been asking me thru these years...mmg arr 5 months ja...tp camna if that was da best 5 months that i ever had???...hahaha...that 5 months make feel in luv...disayangi...being cared by someone...being appreciated n bla...bla...bla...but wut really happen actually???...EGO da matikan semua raser tuh...i NEVER call him...i NEVER ask him out...i NEVER sms him...i NEVER buy him present except for his birthday...i NEVER try to know his family as he did...n the worst part was...i NEVER said I LOVE HIM...!!!...why did this happen???...sebab nyer...EGO arr...konon nyer dier lelaki...dier arr kena wat semua...takkan pmpuan yg nak call???...ehm...typical thinking...konon nak jadik pmpuan melayu terakhir jer???...ceh...hampeh...sendirik jugak yg susah...biler da ilang dier baru nak menggelabah...

insiden 2 : ader skali tuh...pege class for one hour...balik jerk hostel...check hanphone...WUT???...ader 23 misscalls???...tp one number jerk n it was neil...!!!...hati mmg da glabah giler mase tuh...mcm2 pikir...dier ok ke???...eksiden ke???...masok spital ke???...demam ke???...tp wut did i do???...tak call dier pon...tak amik inisiatif to misscall him pon...just wait for him to call me back...sebab nyer...sajerk EGO...kalo dier nak ckp...dier arr call balik...hehe...hampeh kan???...benda camnih pon nak berkira lagik ka???...padahal dalam hati mmg da risau giler tuh...nak makan lunch pon da takder selera...then when he called to tell me yg dier saje jerk call sebab he missed me...terus raser sweet jerk...hehe...

so...that's among the EGO yg i dolukan dulu...maser muda2...mase tak pandai lagik...hehe...bukan bodoh tau...!!!...cuma tak berapa pandai jerk lagik mase tuh...so...wut i could say is...in a relationship...kiter kena ader GIVE N TAKE...baru relationship tuh leh berpanjangan...salah???...mmg kekadang kiter wat...sakit hati???...semestinyer kiter akan sakit hati...terasa???...tipu arr kalo tak penah terasa ngan org yg kiter sayang...tp satu jerk yg kiter kena ingat...1. SAYANG... 2. PERCAYA... 3. RESPECT...tiga benda nih kena ada...so...kita kena arr pandai wat decision tuk diri kita sendirik...never let EGO in front of anything...

tp kadang2...org tuh sayang kiter...kiter arr segala nyer tuk dier...tp dier tak tunjukkan kat kiter...bukan nyer EGO or aper...tp dier tatau camna nak tunjukkn...cukop arr sekadar dier sendirik tau dier mmg sayang kat kiter...tp tak patut camtuh...sepatut nyer...cakap arr dier sayang kiter...n kiter pon sayang dier...takder arr org tuh raser dier bertepuk sebelah tgn...but wutever happen...i've learn from my mistake...but i still pegang pada prinsip...if a man likes a woman...come n approach her...same goes to me...kalo btoi da suka...come n approach me...i'll wait for the right man...ahaks...hehe...

maybe sebab EGO jugak i lost neil...n i never even ask him why...nape???...sebab EGO arr...rase cam diri nih bagus sgt mase tuh...bile dier ckp dier da kawan balik ngan ex-gf dier...i terus diam n merestui dier...i wat as if nothing happen btwn us...as if i never luv him...as if kitaorg nih mmber jerk slama nih...i siap congrate dier lagik tuh...sebab da kawan balik ngan ex-gurl dier...siap tanya2 lagik pasal diaorg...as if i tak kisah...tp dalam hati ALLAH jerk yg tau...nangis giler seh pastuh...hati rasa kena toreh ngan penoreh getah jer...n one more question that i NEVER ask him was...NEIL SAYANG YANA TAK???...

Training Excel...

Yeah...da ari jumaat pong...HAPPY WEEKEND everybody...weekend nih ingatkan nak wat cam las weekend gak...tido bgn mkn smayang...tido bgn mkn smayang...tp ntah arr...sabtu ader kenduri kawen...pastuh rasa cam nak kuar jejln n tgk wayang...nak tgk CHICKEN LITTLE...!!!...nape la takder saper nak teman nih...kang i pege sorang2 arr...baru tau...!!!...semua org pon nak cakap tuh citer kartun n tuk budak2 jerk...ala...macam arr da besau sgt...naper???...kalo da besau takleh nak tgk kartun ke???...ahaks...tetibe cam tak puas hati eks???...hahaha...

Smlm jadik Cikgu Excel....ok arr...nasib baik student tak banyak kerenah...arinih jadik penolong cikgu jerk...headmaster andrew yang ngajar...nak kena ajar calculations...formulas...pivot tables...ish...tak minat arr...lagipon tak terer...kang nak ngajar pon tak btoi...jadik ajaran songsang lak...kang tak pasal2 microsoft dtg tangkap sebab wat ajaran sesat pasal excel nih....hahahahahaha...

Biler training mmg besh...besh...besh...mmg besh...sebab nyer ader breaksfast n tea...leh arr makan banyak2...hahahaha...pagi td paling besh...ader lontong...!!!...yum...yumm...yummmyyy...yg suke nyer bukan lontong tuh tp sebab ader tempe kat dalam tuh...nape eks suke tempe sgt2???...bukan nyer org jawa pong...tp mmg dari time U dolu mmg suke makan tempe...suke sgt2...!!!...mayb berkawan pon asyik ngan org johor jerk...hehe...

Lunch td g makan laksa...satu lagik faveret i nih...yum...yumm...yuummmyyyy...besh...besh...mmg besh...da lame tak mkn...sejak start posa arr arituh...sebln lebey tuh...cam nak dekat 2 bln jerk...arinih dapat pon makan...nasib baik kuah nyer pekat n seday...yaahhoooo...ok arrr...nak pege kaco suhana japs...hahahaha...

mau balik penang... :(

ehm...my lidah sakit lagik arrr...cam makin bengkak jerk...pastuh td lapor tp tak brani nak makan nasik sebab takot tergigit ulser lak...so...bli arr papaya...konon nyer...papaya tuh lembik arr...senang nak makan...makan satu ok...makan lagik satu pon ok...pastuh makan lagik tergigit ulser tuh...uuaarrggghhhhh...!!!...sakit nyer...sakit gila seh...tatau nak watpe...cam nak nangis tp tahan jerk...terus tido kat meja...nak ilangkan sakit nyer pasal...snif...sniff...snifff...

sakit-sakit camnih arr teringat nak balik penang...nak makan makanan yg besh2 kat penang tuh...yumm...yummm...yummmyyyy...sedap nyer...hokkien mee kat sifu omar...curry mee kat balai polis dato kramat...char koey teow kat rosram...popia kat taman brown...mee goreng sotong mamak kat gurney drive...ice kacang spesel kat blakang stadium...and the best food will be my mom's n maktok's...tuh arr yg terbaik pernah ader n chef terbaik abad ini...ehm...nak balik penang arr next week...my leave pon bnyk lagik...nak coti lamer ah sket...leh g makan semua nih...my sisters pon tgk coti sem...lagik arr besh...besh...besh...mmg besh...

lapor arr skang nih...baru kol 4...ader sejam setengah lagik nak balik...arinih makan mekdi...yeahhh...my youngest sister is coming to my house...so...i pon order arr kat dier...hehe...tak sabor nak makan my favourite mek chicken regular set...!!!...yum...yumm...yummmmyyy....arrggghhhhh....

MAU BALIK PENANG...!!!

headache...snif...sniff...snifff...

uuuaarrrrrgghhhhh....sakit pale arrr...gusi bengkak...pastuh ader ulser lagik (at da same side as gusi yg bengkak tuh)...lidah pon cam bengkak gak rase nyer...snif...sniff...snifff...sakit arrr pale nih...berdenyut2...musti sebab gusi bengkak nih...da arr sok nak jadik cikgu excel...kang kena MC lak...

arinih masok opis lambat...kol 9 baru sampai...alasan nyer...bangun lambat...tp mmg btoi pon...thanks to jj -> my adeq ipaq to be...kalo dier tak msg me tis morning mmg tak bangun lagik arr gamak nyer...ye arr...smlm da sakit pale n gusi...makan panadol actifast 2 bijik...terus tetido without setting da alarm...tuh yg tak sedar tuh...penat jerk bawak balik notebook smlm...ingatkan nak sambung wat keje sket kat umah tp sebab actifast tuh btoi2 fast kesan nyer...terus tak wat aper pon smlm...sakit seh...!!!...

nape tak pege jumpa doc amik mc???...ader gak org tanye...takmo arr...malu arr nak jumpa doc...macam budak2 lak...sakit pale n gusi pon nak mc...kang org cakap manja...hahaha...tp kalo sok tak ok gak...terpaksa arr amik mc...class excel pon kena arr postponed...hehe...macam besh gak kan???...postponed class excel sok...lagipon ader satu student dier nih i tak baper berkenan sgt...suke melawan cikgu yg cun nih...ader skali tuh...student nih btoi2 wat i tader mood lngsng nak ngajar...sian student yg lain...tp nak wat camner...terpaksa arr jugak melayan dier...da resposibility to teach them n to make them understand kan???...

ok arr...tetibe cam da takder idea...pale pon da berdenyut2 sgt nih...lenkali arr continue balik...bubye...

hari yg sibok...!!!

Perrghhh...abg aziz cuti seh...!!!...that's the first thing that i thought bile bangan pagi td...nape nak sedey lak kalo abg aziz coti???...takot rindu kat dier ker???...hahaha...hampeh tul arr...kalo abg aziz coti...meaning that keje i banyak arr arinih...sebab tuh yg sedey tuh...hahaha...so...as i expected...sampai ja opis...phone kept on ringing...staff calling...ader yg tak call tp datang dtraight away to my table...nak pc la...ader user baru masok la...virus la...notebook i da format ke???...folder yg i mintak tuh da kasik permission ke???...macam2 lagik arr...cam penat lak rasa...nih pon sempat menaip sebab sembunyi dalam engineering room sat...SSHHHHH...!!!...diam...diam...jgn cakap kat org tau...hahaha...

Actually bukan dok saje kat sini...i'm waiting for a call from the vendor...nak install RefSYS to this pc...da call org tuh tp dia tak angkat lak...had left her a message so now i'm waiting for her call sambil berehat kejap...dari pagi tadi tak sempat lagik nak dok kat my own pc...hehe...sebab tuh arr tak besh kalo abg aziz coti...hahahaha...now u know exactly why i mengeluh n sedey pagi tadi kan???...hehe...

About my weekend...i had the weekend that i'd long waiting for...the complete rest in my house...da baper bulan tak lepak kat umah camtuh...bgn tido smyang...tido bgn smayang makan tgk tv...tido bgn smayang tgk tv...tido bgn tido bgn tido bgn...hehe...tuh jerk yg i wat last saturday nite till monday morning...hehe...da lame tak rest camnih...before nih macam2 benda kena wat...kena settle...asyik kuar...kuar...kuar...sampai da buhshan asyik kuar jerk...sian umah...da lame tak kemaskan...ahaks..but my house still kemas tau...!!!...cuma berhabuk jerk arr sket...tp da kemas pon last week...

Ehm...awat nya lambat sgt nih org tuh nak call balik???...dier pege lunch terus ker???...aper punya vendor arr...tau arr software nih trial version...tp takleh ker dtg install...da baper lama problem nih tak settle...kalo time nak kejar payment tuh pandai lak nak dtg opis...ish...ish...ish...chow...!!!...tata...titi...tutu... (",)...

I'm Happy Today...!!!

Yeah...arinih da tak sedey lagik cam smlm...musti arr tak sedey...smlm b4 tido boley lagik tuh menangis sebab teringat kat mamat tuh...ish...ish...ish...bila da bangun pagi nih rasa bodoh lak sebab nangis smlm...bukan nyer ader pekdah pong...lagik menyakitkan ader arr...tp takper...maintain...maintain CUN...ahaks...hahahaha...

Everything goes on fine today...besh...besh...mmg besh...today my department had an assignment on the EDMS software...the whole department sat in the IT Training Room...had a strong brain-storming in the morning...then after lunch we started our assignment...i had to concentrate on Electrical Department...pergghhh...phenat la weh...phenat seh...ehm...nih pon baru jerk abish my part...yg lain still bertungkus lumus nak settle part diaorg...tomorrow still ader lagik keje...date line for our small group pon da dekat...takper2...lex arr...nnti musti leh wat nyer...hehe...ok arr...nak g smyang japs...ada mood continue lagik...chow...!!!

Minggu Pas Raya...

Tuesday...09112005...dunno wut happen to me today...suddenly i think of neil...gosh...i really miss him so much n i dunno why...it started on the day of raya...tgh nak smayang raya tuh...suddenly i think of him...it just pop up no where...cam magic lak...dalam masjid lak tuh...why arr???...i pon tak pasti...tp apa yg pasti there must be a reason why i suddenly remember him...dyana nih cam tak reti2 lagik nak blaja n pikir from wut he had did to me n my family...naper neil???...why neil yg musti diingat???...why susah sgt nak lupa neil???...i pon tak pasti...almost 4 years my breakup with him but the presence of him never far from me...everytime teringat kat dier musti the feeling of luv n enjoyment of the days with him ader...yg pelik nyer...that feeling tak kurang sket pon...tak kurang langsung...!!!...cam tak caya kan???...is this wut we call 1st luv or i'm the only one yg stubborn sgt to let him go???...ntah2 dier da kawen...n musti tgh happy with her awek or tunang or wife skang nih...i dunno...i dunno wut happen to him...no henpon pon dier da tukar...dolu ader gak kitaorg contact...tp skang tetibe hilang camtuh jerk...n i dunno wut happen to him now...!!!...tatau why the feeling of being left alone...the breakup...the pain that he caused me...my heart that was really broke last time never let me hate him...sayang yg tak penah kurang ader la...n everytime i think of him...it is only the best one...the sweet one...his face...his smile...his voice...his gentleness...everything...!!!...everything...!!!...why i never hate him cause of the pain n the loneliness that he had caused me till today???...WHY???...KENAPE YE???...ehm...penat seh...skang rase nak nangis tp tgh tahan...kat opis lagik nih...sedey giler arrr...mama...abah...if i could tell u about him...YA ALLAH...help me to find my own happiness...AMIN...